The Return

The Abscess Came Back. So Did the Truth I Didn’t Want to Hear.

Last week, it returned.

The issue I’ve feared.

An abscess formed.

I was running the Fat Ass Trail Run.

Something felt off.

At first, I ignored it

Figured it was just nerves.

Then my body temperature dropped.

My left glute began to tighten.

I couldn’t eat or drink.

At 20 km, that was enough.

I approached the timer.

“I’m done. Something doesn’t feel right.”

My temp kept dropping.

Even indoors, I couldn’t hold heat.

Finally, warmth returned once we got back to the rental.

The next day was rough.

That night, my butt swelled—significantly.

I called 911 after puking.

I knew it was back.

I ended up in the Belleville ER,

Where I was dismissed and sent home with antibiotics.

“Just a surface-level skin infection,” the doctor said

While writing down a completely different diagnosis than he told me.

That was the turning point.

Misguided instructions.

I went back and rested.

Didn’t seem urgent, so we planned to leave the next day.

Unfortunately, that doctor wasn’t honest.

By morning, all mobility was gone.

Pain took over.

My Dad came to get us.

Just getting into the car was a mission.

On that ride, the abscess exploded.

In the worst place a moving vehicle.

Finally home. I cleaned myself up.

Saw my NP, who expanded the antibiotics.

He said it was pretty rough-looking.

I cancelled all work and just laid there. Healing.

Yesterday, I saw one of my specialists.

“This is perianal Crohn’s, Red.”

My heart sank.

“You need to go on the meds.”

The words I’ve dreaded.

Infliximab.

A biological medicine.

An immune suppressant.

Infused into my bloodstream.

At first every few weeks then bi-monthly.

For who knows how long.

This was something I never wanted.

But that last abscess…

It came out of nowhere.

And took me down instantly.

This race became a lesson in humility.

Not just accepting I couldn’t complete it

Sitting in that moment, watching my partner Joy finish hers.

Now I surrender.

To a process I don’t fully understand.

To a medicine I didn’t want.

To a system I’m not sure I trust.

And yet what choice do I have?

These infections can kill.